tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42811626155333451442024-02-07T11:37:15.735-08:00a Bump and a Lumpbeating breast cancer while pregnant KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-72786240861383168822020-07-31T08:42:00.004-07:002020-07-31T08:43:23.911-07:00I'm Still HereIt's been a little over 2 years since I last posted and a couple people reached out - hoping all was well. So here is the long overdue update: <div><br /></div><div>- We now have a two year old baby boy!</div><div><br /></div><div>- My chemo-sabe-baby is now a big 7 year old. </div><div><br /></div><div>- And I am still NED (7 years on 8/8). Praise the Lord! </div><div><br /></div><div>- These days I stress less about cancer recurrence and more about Covid-19. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoNkFm7RCli2AYiie5uxJxLngziBwJz4huwDVK-b6db0Dq2ivh8RQAODtKO0xhiCikX2L9gdCJm0ScK9llO6vulnjxM_GLAtYyGi9R9zYQuf0HBM2TlpK82Uc2uOtKwnl7nUdfP-BikcWM/s2048/IMG_5944-62.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoNkFm7RCli2AYiie5uxJxLngziBwJz4huwDVK-b6db0Dq2ivh8RQAODtKO0xhiCikX2L9gdCJm0ScK9llO6vulnjxM_GLAtYyGi9R9zYQuf0HBM2TlpK82Uc2uOtKwnl7nUdfP-BikcWM/s640/IMG_5944-62.jpg" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>Thank you all for your continued prayers for us. It means the world to me. </div>KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-73732549649620087082018-05-25T12:18:00.002-07:002018-05-25T12:18:55.291-07:00Another bump (not another lump)This fall we started thinking about how we wanted to celebrate my 5 year "cancer-versary" in Summer 2018 -- maybe a big party? A trip? A present?<br />
<br />
Well, in November we found out that God was going to give us the most amazing, surprising gift ever for my 5 year. Against all odds, I was pregnant! This was something I was told was unlikely to happen, given how hard it was to conceive Elise and how much chemo likely damaged my fertility.<br />
<br />
The Bible says, "God is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine." This baby is far, far beyond what I ever asked or imagined.<br />
<br />
I am blessed beyond words to announce that baby boy Greer will be joining us in late July 2018.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU8o3adS8zp-DPD19juIDJcyI0EYS1sNV2d13hqISoIUV9XgW6agDnECW23NRJ0V4KnjvCIGOrUqCIiwp7nV2G0rlzswFdmiP7Plxwc7uq16ZeMYmPMlg7vjqddxVJPub3WQwG7J0R31KY/s1600/nyc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1091" data-original-width="1091" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU8o3adS8zp-DPD19juIDJcyI0EYS1sNV2d13hqISoIUV9XgW6agDnECW23NRJ0V4KnjvCIGOrUqCIiwp7nV2G0rlzswFdmiP7Plxwc7uq16ZeMYmPMlg7vjqddxVJPub3WQwG7J0R31KY/s320/nyc.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">24 weeks with the excited big sister! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8dzzANK9l4GSfCtnsOqLHlQSVdcIjHhhPFvtCnwFhnhrVs0vvMq72JJwbeB8vIGxLxYd_W0P0YLJ5hXqzvEw_VAMB9Mr55Nnx2U8AdB5VJLs33f41yffvAQ1lqhxSuX7OdakjwiYQ3anR/s1600/IMG_5838.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1287" data-original-width="1600" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8dzzANK9l4GSfCtnsOqLHlQSVdcIjHhhPFvtCnwFhnhrVs0vvMq72JJwbeB8vIGxLxYd_W0P0YLJ5hXqzvEw_VAMB9Mr55Nnx2U8AdB5VJLs33f41yffvAQ1lqhxSuX7OdakjwiYQ3anR/s320/IMG_5838.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Baby boy! </td></tr>
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<br />KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-65120289422678095172017-09-21T10:16:00.000-07:002017-09-21T10:16:15.034-07:00Four More Years! Four More Years!No, this isn't about politics. This is about celebrating my 4 years survivor-versary last month!<br />
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Only in my wildest dreams could I imagine seeing this date. Thank you Jesus!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6LNgMQY7mhKjlsy__6Gfc-iULbQFpi_gmxbI_lf6fVxkzKb3l1a1_T4cPb3afNzNNwFamAtasUH0o-82wOLEJdoKf7a_aloxUkg7SDEJxDR_HECWTMWRZ40qFDRLVXbAnwYDlPS_PNYLS/s1600/IMG_3287.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1203" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6LNgMQY7mhKjlsy__6Gfc-iULbQFpi_gmxbI_lf6fVxkzKb3l1a1_T4cPb3afNzNNwFamAtasUH0o-82wOLEJdoKf7a_aloxUkg7SDEJxDR_HECWTMWRZ40qFDRLVXbAnwYDlPS_PNYLS/s320/IMG_3287.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">4 years! </td></tr>
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<br />
Here's the deal -- When I was diagnosed I had a 36% chance of recurrence (remember recurrence almost always means mets, and mets almost always mean death, especially for TNBC).<br />
<br />
At four years out I'm down to <i>just</i> a 4% chance of recurrence. Each year after 4 years until 8 years means 1% less chance of recurrence, until it's 0% chance at 8 years.<br />
<br />
To illustrate this point, here is a chart that I lifted from a cancer study. This shows how most (i.e. 90%) of my recurrence risk is behind me.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF59vjl6RH7bTbJwOYiWFsjr3ZygfYZTzjtrcoKxJHNu-ILQ_uda6rtlsVfuHIKUZqGaMuPJMVZ4VL7llIXXX0gcGuffAb2pKSgkgN53PXBcw88Ou9fC9dywmWHYlcKbShndrxh_7vexv4/s1600/F1.large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="919" data-original-width="1280" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF59vjl6RH7bTbJwOYiWFsjr3ZygfYZTzjtrcoKxJHNu-ILQ_uda6rtlsVfuHIKUZqGaMuPJMVZ4VL7llIXXX0gcGuffAb2pKSgkgN53PXBcw88Ou9fC9dywmWHYlcKbShndrxh_7vexv4/s400/F1.large.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I should cite the study, but I lost the URL. You can just google "TNBC survival curve".</td></tr>
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<br />So say it with me... four more years! Four more years!<br />
<br />
Speaking of blessings, my little warrior/chemo baby is almost 4.5 years old. I'm LOVING this age with her so much. She's so smart, fun, and funny. I thank God every day for her and the time I've been able to spend with her.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDR-w27wd_W0n_PwgM3m4IIRhCMZBOQO_N9RM5s7g4NVrEAahN-s7ZS5Dan5yspaSxVRJoa7FabxZipJu6Dx6N5d98ex0Dua2aq66tUZlhHt3v75MaontG5XuMuYYYDFFfCaKGYgA1Nj3a/s1600/IMG_3120.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1203" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDR-w27wd_W0n_PwgM3m4IIRhCMZBOQO_N9RM5s7g4NVrEAahN-s7ZS5Dan5yspaSxVRJoa7FabxZipJu6Dx6N5d98ex0Dua2aq66tUZlhHt3v75MaontG5XuMuYYYDFFfCaKGYgA1Nj3a/s320/IMG_3120.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Love my girl </td></tr>
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One thing people don't talk much about is the mental toll of cancer. I'm almost as proud of myself for overcoming the daily anxiety as I am about beating cancer.<br />
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As my risk has gone down, my anxiety has gone down with it. I don't subscribe EVERY little thing to cancer anymore -- but it's never too far from my mind. Recently, I've been doing pretty intense Orange Theory workouts and my shoulder started hurting (on my cancer, lymph node removal, radiation side). I whipped myself into a panic that it was mets. As the pain has subsided over the past few days, I'm thinking it was likely a muscle pull (my muscles are MUCH tighter on my left side thanks to mastectomy + radiation).<br />
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If I think about all my "scares" in the past four years, I realize there has been a lot. I decided I'd list them all here to show other survivors that all pains and illness are NOT necessarily cancer. Here they all are, none of these turned out to be cancer so far, and most resolved on their own:<br />
- 2013: Sore mid back (likely from pregnancy)<br />
- 2013: Cough that persisted (from a virus)<br />
- 2013: Ringing in ear (maybe from chemo or stress)<br />
- 2013: Blurry vision (from chemo likely)<br />
- 2013: Dizziness (from chemo/rads/stress likely)<br />
- 2013: Sore spot on skull (no idea, resolved on own)<br />
- 2013: Shortness of breath (from my giant tissue expanders pushing on my chest cavity)<br />
- 2014: Sore lymph node spot (residual pain from surgery)<br />
- 2014: Lump on right prophylactic mastectomy foob (ultra-sounded and determined to be fatty scar tissue)<br />
- 2014: Sore rib (probably a pulled muscle, but then I kept pressing on it and made it worse)<br />
- 2014: Bad lower back (from carrying my big baby)<br />
- 2014: Cough that lasted 3 weeks (from a winter virus)<br />
- 2015: Neck pain (from sleeping funny)<br />
- 2015: Broken rib (from falling at football game)<br />
- 2015: Walking pneumonia (from the broken rib)<br />
- 2016: Lump on cancer side foob (felt by onco and determined to be fatty tissue, dissolved over time)<br />
- 2016: Sciatica and lower back pain (x-ray showed slight disk degeneration, also resolved over time, was likely from carrying my big toddler plus lots of long international airplane flights for work)<br />
- 2017: Lump on back of neck (biopsied by derm and was a cyst, not skin mets)<br />
- 2017: Sore shoulder/left back (likely a muscle pull from crazy workouts)<br />
<br />
The good news is that my "scares" have decreased a lot over time. I pray that one day I won't even consider cancer as the cause of an ache or illness.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-33477140109686189852017-01-12T13:51:00.003-08:002017-09-21T10:23:25.614-07:00New YearIt's 2017! A year I kind of never thought I'd see.<br />
<br />
Elise is 3.5 years old and at an age where she is finally making real, lasting memories. Since before she was born I think about how long I'd have to make it for her to have memories of me. Morbid? Yes, but true.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbjrXjVsaZa3_xINYZYiqkgmbhJtS4B3y4NbSLXkHrpJ4w-CmRna7oCNrj4raXi24U3QiTOq0wAULMXJt1ScQBO6iJTm7ZPRURKDKUbBa8hAhNHi-hHcl29j5Z0J182PptRVPhJhDvWlCR/s1600/15591335_10104698854230285_3567379129246827554_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbjrXjVsaZa3_xINYZYiqkgmbhJtS4B3y4NbSLXkHrpJ4w-CmRna7oCNrj4raXi24U3QiTOq0wAULMXJt1ScQBO6iJTm7ZPRURKDKUbBa8hAhNHi-hHcl29j5Z0J182PptRVPhJhDvWlCR/s320/15591335_10104698854230285_3567379129246827554_o.jpg" width="269" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fall 2016</td></tr>
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It's been 3.5 years since my mastectomy/ I'm rounding the bend to it being years since I was diagnosed. And I'm finally sliding down the steeper part of this survival curve.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-3rUaka463NuL2GKybE7eLPsxd4HOdalorzDCJ7z2BJGP6M4uLIZRD0RxwQ1oLe9utfDzpWF6U9vlu5-0NMivFsK_U9Qkwply-FpSUvahPUyPU0DBwwJ-VF79pdtwDuvgnhw8ipyOxRJ3/s1600/F3.large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-3rUaka463NuL2GKybE7eLPsxd4HOdalorzDCJ7z2BJGP6M4uLIZRD0RxwQ1oLe9utfDzpWF6U9vlu5-0NMivFsK_U9Qkwply-FpSUvahPUyPU0DBwwJ-VF79pdtwDuvgnhw8ipyOxRJ3/s400/F3.large.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">TNBC Study Results</td></tr>
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<br />
Since I never really expected to live this long I've been doing a lot of soul searching recently about what I really want from life. Like what do I really want from my career? If I can have more kids do I really want them? What about adoption? What kind of house should we buy? I guess kind of normal 30-something questions about life.<br />
<br />
I did make a decision about one thing! After growing my hair out for 3 years I decided to stop and leave it at collarbone length. I realized it was one of my favorite lengths (and I've not had them all) and it's easy to maintain, so I decided to stop there.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYQ5BkYE1vB7I9KLKCKsqwal67sXUlSJK9mSfLvBWFjxfEamlAGr8OkS-4cflsM3OjcqsqwlhZLXEr7_2Igt53eeA7DMf7FOYQ2NXWup6EiZ0UrjqYj2a3VgqHq5-Mx3jM5PgxA23f8sJR/s1600/15591573_10104718009697575_18961266646276431_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYQ5BkYE1vB7I9KLKCKsqwal67sXUlSJK9mSfLvBWFjxfEamlAGr8OkS-4cflsM3OjcqsqwlhZLXEr7_2Igt53eeA7DMf7FOYQ2NXWup6EiZ0UrjqYj2a3VgqHq5-Mx3jM5PgxA23f8sJR/s400/15591573_10104718009697575_18961266646276431_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christmas 2016</td></tr>
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It's 2017. Prayers for another healthy year are always appreciated.KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-66206050514465202452016-08-09T21:49:00.001-07:002016-08-09T21:52:46.703-07:00Three Years!Yesterday was the three-year anniversary of the day I found out I was cancer-free.<br />
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I don't even have words to describe what making it to this three year mark means to me.<br />
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From the week I first found out that I had TNBC, I set my sights on three years. "Three years", I'd think to myself, "I just need to make it three years". That's because apparently TNBC reoccurs most commonly in the first three years. Yes, there is still a chance of recurrence after three years. but the risk drops a lot at that point and continues to drop sharply.<br />
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(Note: now five years is my ultimate prize. I'm throwing one heck of a party in 2018 if God gets me to that date!)<br />
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I can't even begin to explain how blessed I feel to have made it to this date. God has truly done so much for me in these three years. So much so, that I recently recorded a video for my church, Grace Church San Diego, to share about what God did for me during the biggest trial of my life and what he continues to do for me. You can <a href="http://www.dropbox.com/s/rrpvx1y2u2yopvh/KirstenGreer.mov?dl=0">watch my video here</a>. It's just 3 minutes long. <br />
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/rrpvx1y2u2yopvh/KirstenGreer.mov?dl=0"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC0dAga9S9oNr2b4cgZBSg6VTE39UNy2HRf77CeZKP3J_DMZ5OXrDwubLkPStO1BNPQt3-tTV0iovo5IlZmUwl-kc3fna5dBGkrTyFk9K1uzQnjwP00UllWrvXucpQHOMGR0_CGJS-4cCQ/s320/kg.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
Speaking of blessings... my little miracle baby, my "chemo-sabe" is also now three! No more baby; she's 100% kid now. So smart, independent, funny, athletic, and sassy. She makes every day worth living.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1lBq_rueuRgLOwil5vLoPhe4EP4bBi6cDHi3gDXUBBoJ7LbLzYSBQ-UDwDlXmN2y7vycR3lrLDDLh1Y2rYqImzCKrqS8AVi5A6FTSf1TMs2oQl_djAmF7DHwGAy4B3ft8nut93AB0vqE7/s1600/13907085_10104273095484225_2862494296982217748_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1lBq_rueuRgLOwil5vLoPhe4EP4bBi6cDHi3gDXUBBoJ7LbLzYSBQ-UDwDlXmN2y7vycR3lrLDDLh1Y2rYqImzCKrqS8AVi5A6FTSf1TMs2oQl_djAmF7DHwGAy4B3ft8nut93AB0vqE7/s400/13907085_10104273095484225_2862494296982217748_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">August 2016</td></tr>
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Our little family of three is healthy, happy, and whole. I feel more peace about life right now than I have in a very, very long time. I truly believe that God gave me that peace and continues to give me that peace. Jesus said "<i>Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you."</i> (John 14:27) and Paul said "<i>I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."</i> Beyond eternal forgiveness and salvation, that's the biggest gift God can give us on this earth, peace and contentment. My prayer is that I could show others that peace through my story.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGxFQzrxHFQGgBBTK255fNey21yCGhQTUghyphenhyphen0gjn3f3IXtLioNIQxmOZsJG4qnVcD9zuoyWUUkLXw8kYcxxp3gxyfxpIX8qZe-PKP-VjPSEtR78-2YsTNyu9nVNQQnlwqUyV6uSHeAYnps/s1600/13606703_10104203242470225_3276475810061959060_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGxFQzrxHFQGgBBTK255fNey21yCGhQTUghyphenhyphen0gjn3f3IXtLioNIQxmOZsJG4qnVcD9zuoyWUUkLXw8kYcxxp3gxyfxpIX8qZe-PKP-VjPSEtR78-2YsTNyu9nVNQQnlwqUyV6uSHeAYnps/s400/13606703_10104203242470225_3276475810061959060_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Note: that's not our dog. Elise just insisted that our friend's dog be in our photo. </td></tr>
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<br />KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-55318247704488806012016-01-19T10:16:00.000-08:002016-01-19T10:16:11.199-08:00A letter to a newly diagnosed breast cancer survivorSome friends at <a href="http://www.cureforward.com/#/">Cure Forward</a> challenged me to write a letter with advice and encouragement for a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient, which I thought would be interesting and potentially helpful, so here it is... <br />
<div>
</div>
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Dear newly diagnosed breast cancer survivor,<br />
<div>
</div>
Did you know you are a survivor already? You are. From the moment you are diagnosed you’re a survivor and you will be for the rest of your life. <br />
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</div>
Here I sit, almost three years since I heard the worst words of my life, “you have cancer.” And thinking about those words still guts me. But honestly, that was the worst part, at least emotionally. Every day and week since then has been better. So if you’re in the lows of post-diagnosis, know that it WILL get better. <br />
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When I heard those words I believed I was already one foot in the grave. I had no ability to imagine that I would be here three years later. But my advice is that even if you can’t imagine it, try to. And if you can’t, let others imagine your brighter, longer days ahead. <br />
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</div>
Medically, I encourage you understand all you can about your breast cancer. Not all are created equal. Understand your hormone receptor status, your stage, grade, lymph node involvement, and even onco-type. I didn’t have the opportunity to understand every specific of my cancer or information about clinical trials, because everything moved so fast post-diagnosis. But understating a bit about precision medicine, novel treatment options, and looking into companies that specialize in it, like <a href="http://www.cureforward.com/#/">Cure Forward</a>, could help you a lot.<br />
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</div>
However, in understanding more about your breast cancer, stay away from of Dr. Google. He’s an evil doctor and he will only scare you. Get the facts you need (which can sometimes involve the internet), and they stay away from Google searches. The sad stories, message boards, and news stories will not help you. Remember, healthy people aren’t on the cancer chat boards. They are off living their lives. <br />
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I also encourage you to get second opinion. I was diagnosed at one hospital, then got a second opinion another, and decided to do my treatment there. Call any friends you have in the medical field that can help you get a second opinion at another hospital. Sadly, not all oncologists, hospitals, and treatment plans are created equal. <br />
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Once you know all there is to know and you’ve sought medical opinions, then don’t hesitate to act. Get started on chemo or surgery ASAP. And push your doctors to get you started quickly. I feel like that was one of my keys to success. From my ultrasound/preliminary diagnosis to sitting in a chemo chair to get AC #1 it was 11 days. Time is of the essence, and don’t dilly dally thinking about not doing all the treatment your doctors recommend. You have to trust your doctors. So find one you love and trust them. <br />
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</div>
In case you want to know what the road ahead looks like, here are the three worst things (in my experience) about breast cancer treatment and survivorship:<br />
<ol>
<li>Growing your <strong>hair</strong> back after chemo. I didn’t mind shaving my head when I started to lose it. I was in the zone of “this is what I have to do, and I’m a badass”. I didn’t mind wearing wigs – hey, sure made for an easy morning routine. But I absolutely hated the first six months after treatment when my hair was so short. I thought I looked unfeminine, like some kind of butch lesbian. I didn’t want short brown hair. I couldn’t wait for time to pass and my hair to be back in at least a “bob” style. </li>
<li>A <strong>double mastectomy</strong> and tissue expanders. Not going to lie, a double mastectomy and the tissue expansions that I had to do quickly afterwards, is the worst pain I’ve experienced in my life. And I have a pretty high pain tolerance. Oh, and that pain went on for ~6 weeks. It’s worse than any broken bone I’ve had (heck, I had a broken rib for 2 weeks and didn’t realize it!) and its way worse than childbirth. Remember, it’s terrible, but you’ll get through it and then it will be over. </li>
<li>That when treatment, ends the <strong>fear</strong> and <strong>trauma</strong> does not. Every cough you get, every ache or pain you have, every headache, everything leads to fear that it’s the cancer, back as stage IV. And this lasts for years, maybe even a lifetime. Faith in God and the passage of time has helped me cope, as well as trying to live life to its fullest, because no one really knows the number of days they have left. There is no “putting cancer behind you.” If you’re lucky, the worst will be behind you, but it will always be a part of you. </li>
</ol>
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My heart goes out to you, the newly diagnosed survivor, because like I said at the beginning of my letter, it many ways the first days are the worst part. The heartache of hearing that you have cancer and the ambiguity of life after those words, is a pain that I wouldn’t wish on my (hypothetical) worst enemy. But you’ll get through this, and you will emerge stronger. Keep the faith. <br />
<br /><br />
Hugs and prayers,<div>
Kirsten</div>
<div>
</div>
KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-38342745149980407952015-12-21T13:40:00.004-08:002015-12-21T13:43:57.820-08:00RIP AdrienneAdrienne was one of the first pregnant with cancer survivors who reached out to me after I was diagnosed. She had been diagnosed just a few months before me and was following the same road. Even in the young breast cancer world we were oddities -- pregnant, triple negative sub-type. She texted me pictures of her bald head and talked with me on the phone as I was making decisions about surgery. <br />
<br />
Like me, after chemo her double mastectomy showed that she had a PCR (complete response = no living cancer left).<br />
<br />
When she got her healthy baby and her PCR I thought "of course she did." She just seemed like one of those people who things worked just out for. Her beautiful smile, cheerful attitude, and strength could conquer the world. In my mind, she was just one of those people <br />
<br />
But less than one year later she found out the cancer was back in her liver. Stage IV. Mets. "Incurable."<br />
<br />
I couldn't believe it. I was floored. She was supposed to be untouchable. The quintessential survivor. So then I just imagined she would be the 1 out of 10,000 that beat mets. <br />
<br />
Over the past 1.5 years I saw her health have ups and downs but recently more downs. And on Saturday, Adrienne went to be with Jesus. <br />
<br />
She didn't "lose her battle" because she fought like hell and metastatic TNBC killed her. <br />
<br />
My heart is broken. I miss her beautiful smile on my Facebook feed. I miss chatting with her in our Kick Ass Cancer Mamas group. I hurt so bad for her sweet chemo baby, Kellen who is just a month older than Elise. No two year old should have to be without their mama. I cry every time I think about him. <br />
<br />
RIP Adrienne. Heaven gained one amazing girl this weekend. But you are dearly missed on earth. <br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
Here is as touching <a href="http://wkbn.com/2015/12/19/sharon-mom-battling-cancer-dies/">news story about Adrienne</a> -- her life and death.<br />
<br />
And if Adrienne's story has touched you and your feel compelled to donate, you can<a href="https://www.facebook.com/Adriennes-Army-337487013013591/?fref=ts"> donate to her non-profit, Adrienne's Army</a>.KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-90377915315878792622015-12-15T13:46:00.002-08:002015-12-21T13:42:14.701-08:00Healthy but BrokenLet me start at the end of the story and work my way back -- Today I'm healthy and don't have any cancer recurrence that I know of. <br />
<br />
But I've been on a physical and emotional rollercoaster over the past six weeks. One that's still has me a bit shaken. <br />
<br />
It started in late October when I tripped and fell in the stands at Qualcomm stadium and broke my rib. I spent two weeks in a lot of pain wondering if it was hurting so bad because of a bone metastasis. I started to go to a very dark place mentally. Finally I got a x-ray which showed a clean break and no evidence of metastatic disease to the bone. No cancer, just clumsy. <br />
<br />
Then shortly after that x-ray I got a cold and then cough that got worse and worse. My oncologist listened to my right lung and said he was pretty sure that the cold plus the broken rib caused me to get walking pneumonia. Often when you have a broken rib you don't take deep breaths, so it makes you more susceptible to pneumonia. I took a good course of antibiotics and I'm no longer coughing or wheezing. Praise the Lord. <br />
<br />
Also in the past six weeks I've seen on social media that THREE of the moms from my pregnant with breast cancer group have had a recurrence. They were all diagnosed in the months right before I was. But the one that hit me hardest is Jamie. She was diagnosed with TNBC six months before me, also while pregnant. We met on a milk sharing site (Eats on Feets) and she offered to talk to me on the phone since she'd just been though treatment. She was one of the first mamas that I talked to about the pregnant with cancer experience. She recently reached the 3 years NED mark, but then found out last month that her cancer is back in several places. My heart hurts so bad for her and her two small kids. If you're the praying type, please pray for her. <br />
<br />
I want so badly to be "over" cancer, and move on with my life. So often I can trick myself into thinking I am, and then a recurrence scare sets me off and it becomes clear that cancer has left me broken and afraid. I was actually starting to feel so confident in my future that I was considering removing my IUD this month. But the past six weeks made me realize that I'm not ready to deal all the strange physical symptoms and stress that a pregnancy would bring (if I even could get pregnant). And maybe I never will be. I beginning to think more and more that I should just be happy with my one miracle baby and not tempt fate.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8dCSozXQY0s3oUWVFq2boALg0qauR7QJZq15feBFu6dtHOndqQv3i2ZbGDiDJu1rNudLuMUjzMwSNTP6hDPVAkmH8Ke7SqRuVT4jnJ2sySUf4cmwf66nd-CP3FbQFIRCWwo8FAbFns6yN/s1600/rc.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8dCSozXQY0s3oUWVFq2boALg0qauR7QJZq15feBFu6dtHOndqQv3i2ZbGDiDJu1rNudLuMUjzMwSNTP6hDPVAkmH8Ke7SqRuVT4jnJ2sySUf4cmwf66nd-CP3FbQFIRCWwo8FAbFns6yN/s400/rc.jpg" width="400" /></a>KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-81928173282110666122015-10-26T15:31:00.001-07:002015-10-26T15:41:03.105-07:00Tattoo LoveIn October 2013, before I started radiation, the techs gave me four tattoos to mark the "field" that would be radiated 33 times. The only visible tattoo was on the middle left side of my chest (<a href="http://abumpandalump.blogspot.com/2013/10/radiation-in-progress.html">see picture/story here</a>).<br />
<br />
For two years I've looked at that dot and thought, <i>"I should tattoo over this and turn it into something beautiful."</i> Because that's what God does; He takes broken things and makes them beautiful. <br />
<br />
So last week I did.<br />
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I decided to have it turned into a heart to symbolize the love that got me through cancer; the greatest love being from Jesus.<br />
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<br />
I just love how it turned out. Small but very, very meaningful.<br />
<br />
It's a daily reminder of my one of my favorite verses from Romans. One that carried me though cancer treatment... <i>"<span class="text">We also rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that
suffering produces endurance,</span> <span class="text">and
endurance produces character, and character produces hope,</span><span class="text"><sup> </sup>and hope does not disappoint, because God's LOVE
has been poured into our HEARTS."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span class="text">Yes.</span><i><span class="text"> </span></i><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-29348137696588077872015-08-14T15:41:00.002-07:002015-08-14T15:55:22.494-07:00Two YearsWell, I'm now two years cancer-free. 8/8/13 was the miraculous, amazing day that I found out that God answered <a href="http://abumpandalump.blogspot.com/p/faith.html">all</a> my prayers.<br />
<br />
When I was first diagnosed I had a hard time imagining or believing I'd get to see Elise wear 2T clothes, and here is she already wearing 3T clothes. My perfect, big, healthy girl. And I'm here to see it. God is so good. <br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
Triple negative tends to recur most within the first three years from diagnosis and I'm now 2.5 years from diagnosis. I'm feeling dangerously close to the "safe zone". Like maybe in six months I can finally exhale the last bit of that breath I've been holding since March 1, 2013? It's just too good to believe.<br />
<br />
If you know me, you know that I'd always been a big "planner"-- planning future vacations, planning my future children, planning my career moves, even planning for retirement. Once I found out that I had cancer I stopped doing all that. I felt like there was no sense planning if it could all blow up again at any moment. I wouldn't plan vacations that were more than a couple months away. But lately I've felt myself starting to plan again. Daring to believe that I'll be here in a year, or five, or twenty-five. Praying to God that somehow I won't "jinx" it all by planning. But also realizing that I know now that even if plans have to change, God is in those plans to. <br />
<br />
Heck, I never even considered the possibility of more kids, and now I'm an <a href="https://portal.youngcancersurvivor.com/">18 month long</a> <a href="https://portal.youngcancersurvivor.com/">fertility study for young cancer survivors</a>. And I've started to think that there's a remote possibility that we could have another kid. Unbelievable. <br />
<br />
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<br />
I don't have a good conclusion to this post, but I think Ecclesiastes can sum it up the best, <em>"When life is good, enjoy it. But when life is hard, remember: God gives good times and hard times, and no one knows what tomorrow will bring." (7:14)</em><br />
<em></em><br />
Amen. KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-5216582444674211882015-04-07T13:51:00.001-07:002015-04-07T13:51:06.074-07:00Two Years of HairI shaved my head a little over two years ago -- on Good Friday 2013. Good Friday and Easter have always been very special to me, but now they hold even more meaning.<br />
<br />
Here is a picture comparison of me on three Easter Weekends. 2013, 2014, and 2015.<br /><br />
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<br />
<br />
I feel so blessed to be here, and (bonus) with hair I actually like now!<br />
<br />
And look, I can even do a pony tail now too!<br />
<br />
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<br />
If you had told me two years ago that it would be TWO FULL YEARS to have shoulder-length hair or to be able to put my hair up in a pony tail I think I would have been more depressed when it was falling out and I shaved it.<br />
<br />
Praying that at next Easter I'll still be cancer free and my hair will be back to 2012 length.<br />
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-68319183195109166042015-01-25T20:47:00.001-08:002015-12-21T13:41:35.393-08:00An Overdue UpdateIn the world of post-cancer blogging no news is generally good news. And I'm blessed to say with regards to my health I have no news. I'm doing my regular check ups, and since it's hard to prove a negative, all appears to be well (giant knock on wood).<br />
<br />
I survived 2014 with basically nothing terrible happening -- which is the first year since 2009 that I can say that. I'd had a rough couple of years with pregnancy loss, unexplained infertility, and real estate woes before I got the knock out punch of cancer. Let's just say I'd be really happy for a peaceful, boring life from here on out.<br />
<br />
It's interesting to watch how my cancer is less and less a part of my daily life. It's no longer the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. My hair looks like a normal shorter hair cut now, my boobs are "squishy" from my final implants, and I feel less anxious about everything. That's not to say I don't think about cancer a lot, because I did. Random aches or pains scare me still. My back will hurt after a weekend of carrying around my 29 lb toddler and I'll wonder if the cancer is back in my bones. Then I remind myself that I've been carrying around my big baby and I'm not dying. Convincing myself that I am OK and I am going be OK has gotten easier with the passage of time.<br />
<br />
I've started to share with people, when I tell my cancer story, more about what God did for me through the whole trial and how it built my faith like nothing could. Almost like I have more clarity about His presence in the storm now looking back. The <a href="http://abumpandalump.blogspot.com/p/faith.html">power of prayer that I experienced</a> during that time is something I'm still wrapping my head around.<br />
<br />
My little chemo baby is almost 20 months old and occupies the vast majority of my free time and energy. She's such a blessing and a joy to have in our lives. She literally saved my life in more ways than one. I'm just so incredibly grateful for her.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimG87hK8WdpQWMjkBwvPR0Fnc-7RMgu042FVe4wUwSSw7hEGZu1mogeUmWzCVTQLCXlcBSTwmhQOZpWnHWOLrxK14oZlxPQN6uUqTOAHy-MYxdf5guAoncmmNPLyxgq7fc9tPNnW5D42hS/s1600/IMG_5627.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimG87hK8WdpQWMjkBwvPR0Fnc-7RMgu042FVe4wUwSSw7hEGZu1mogeUmWzCVTQLCXlcBSTwmhQOZpWnHWOLrxK14oZlxPQN6uUqTOAHy-MYxdf5guAoncmmNPLyxgq7fc9tPNnW5D42hS/s1600/IMG_5627.JPG" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christmas 2014</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Sadly, I continue to watch cancer rear it's terrible head all around me. I've watched a couple young breast cancer survivor moms from my on line support group relapse and die. My beloved oncologist found out he had Stage IV pancreatic cancer in June and died in December. Heartbreaking. And most recently my good friend's boyfriend was diagnosed with Leukemia. I pray that science keeps advancing to the point that soon cancer can be wiped out or just treated like any other non-fatal illness. I worry about Elise, but then I remind myself how far medicine and cancer research has come since I was a baby and have hope. If I had gotten TNBC 30 years ago I wouldn't be alive to talk about it almost two years later.<br />
<br />
My prayer for 2015 is that this blog stays as boring as possible. Boring is good!KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-38474522219588716302014-10-16T11:17:00.003-07:002014-10-16T11:19:55.524-07:00Pink-tober Thoughts and Strength & Inspire Bracelets<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span class="textexposedshow"><span style="color: #141823;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It's officially "pink-tober" (aka breast cancer awareness month). It's taken me a few day to formulate my thoughts on it...<br /><br />I have such a love-hate relationship with this month. On one hand I love to see a cause that I care so about much getting attention, and I love seeing people care, or pretend to care (*cough cough* NFL *cough*) about it. And I like that breast cancer is no longer a taboo topic like it once was. On the other hand all the "awareness" about breast cancer has done little to reduce the death rate from breast cancer, and it sickens me that many companies actually profiting off their pink products. <br /><br />I guess if I could share three messages about "pink-tober" it would be this: <br /><br />1) Ladies, check yourself and go to your doctor if you ever feel anything that resembles a lump. I used to be the the type that didn't want to "bug" my doctor. Luckily by the grace of God I was seeing my OB every four weeks because I was pregnant and she took the lump seriously. This is what you're supposed to be "aware of" from all this breast cancer awareness; check yourself and have a doctor check any lump you find. <br /><br />2) When a young woman gets breast cancer young it's typically aggressive, fast growing, and deadly. So doctors throw all the treatment they have at them-- typically multiple rounds of chemo, mastectomy, and radiation. And even with all that sometimes it comes back as incurable stage IV. We don't really know why that happens. This is why we need more research and a real cure. Progress has been made but we have a long way to go to prevent, treat, and cure this killer of young women.<br /><br />3) Be a smart consumer. Before you buy a bunch of pink products find out where money goes. Make sure it's going to research. We need a cure and research will be the way.<br /> </span></span></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span class="textexposedshow"><span style="color: #141823;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, if you want to purchase a great project where the money actually goes to breast cancer and research, I am selling these awesome"Strength" and "Inspire" bracelets from Stella & Dot. </span></span></span></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.stelladot.com/ts/w9y16"><img alt="www.stelladot.com/ts/w9y16" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgopn9bMk2vI6bfjA2wWByiEjAz79QJ8VQOaNt7UfJtkQBa6HrndyzExf77M2uixOBg-AZV2vSYV4v0A4FaEa8Mm7pyMKfrf_A3EHJXaiUP_R5oOmgBzEVELLJhunZGGn_qUxIKOi0tGT-I/s1600/10723661_10204127238355524_312817033_n.jpg" height="400" width="281" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span class="textexposedshow"><span style="color: #141823;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Stella & Dot is donating 100% of proceeds from these bracelets to the Noreen Fraser Foundation (a fantastic breast cancer charity). At just $39 each, they make great Christmas gifts or a fun little gift for yourself. They are only available during Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I am selling them until October 23. </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span class="textexposedshow"><span style="color: #141823;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Buy yours today using this link to access my Stella & Dot page: <a href="http://www.stelladot.com/ts/w9y16">www.stelladot.com/ts/w9y16 </a></b><br /> </span></span></span></span><br />
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<br />KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-37414767262571980722014-09-11T22:00:00.001-07:002015-12-15T13:47:04.691-08:00Life after TNBC & a pCRSometimes I think I'm rockin' it as a Cancer Survivor and have full confidence that I'll be around to raise Elise and <strike>nag </strike>love my husband for many many more years to come.<br />
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Then sometimes I get an ache or pain and I'll spiral into fear and worry that cancer is back as stage IV. I know that despite my strong faith it's human to worry. Luckily each pain has gone away and I thank God every day for that.</div>
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But when I'm in the midst of worry I try to look for reasons I should be optimistic. The biggest one for me is that even though Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) has the worst prognosis of all breast cancer types, having a pCR (pathological complete response) after chemo yields an excellent prognosis. Like, look that this chart:</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6w4lohk8MrCmU42EGcOdPUgQxJNenNL2r9RebT7DkgiIG8qR-e6FPffFYnAXystXyOokEin5b0RboI8cI4cCyiEtb7AaoQBF5O_RcPjN5QFlu13sLZmamsRsnfxj9OcgR0EyNZGUR7xa3/s1600/ecancer217F1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6w4lohk8MrCmU42EGcOdPUgQxJNenNL2r9RebT7DkgiIG8qR-e6FPffFYnAXystXyOokEin5b0RboI8cI4cCyiEtb7AaoQBF5O_RcPjN5QFlu13sLZmamsRsnfxj9OcgR0EyNZGUR7xa3/s1600/ecancer217F1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18250347">Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
Now that I'm one year out from surgery what's even more encouraging to me is that all "dips" in the graph for pCR/TNBC are before one year, which means that if I was going to have a reoccurrence I'd likely have it by now. Not 100%, but likely according to studies.<br />
<br />
I know that statistics are just statistics and ultimately I'm an individual here by the grace of God. But sometimes that graph reassures me a little. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And now, for fun, look how good my hair looks now...<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjZVPzr8bedQA_hr-MH38p-Ep2zQMwzNbX7c6X70CSqnhqyssyIvn5DDs8RSx1Eb8viF9zzzbYamzgjo71xjyeSf3bts4GIV_6biuZvk9qg4mwOAERBF4Y0k0IoEiLLKAaJhCyymJqw9oe/s1600/IMG_3804.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjZVPzr8bedQA_hr-MH38p-Ep2zQMwzNbX7c6X70CSqnhqyssyIvn5DDs8RSx1Eb8viF9zzzbYamzgjo71xjyeSf3bts4GIV_6biuZvk9qg4mwOAERBF4Y0k0IoEiLLKAaJhCyymJqw9oe/s1600/IMG_3804.JPG" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yay for a "Mom-Bob"!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-18629546062872765472014-08-12T21:26:00.000-07:002014-08-12T21:26:14.351-07:00I'm Still HereIt's been a little over one year since I was declared "cancer-free". August 8, 2013. One of the best days of my life. I wasn't ready to celebrate with a big "I beat cancer" party just yet but I did treat myself to this awesome Stella & Dot Necklace as my survivor-versary gift. Maybe when I hit three years cancer-free I'll have a big party. That the prize my eye is on.<div>
<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8xc5PcPdNVviPeUtq_4q6AaDgtOIcOmSWqMETCb5kDQwKugNhxLSrR3ZGcHUE5OnllRr0v6-V__j_7YvYa87ExmkVimu-IHTeecwdlk2mM2en9YuXXynSIGc6Z5R3wkR8Q5H8ZVYJwAhn/s1600/IMG_3407.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8xc5PcPdNVviPeUtq_4q6AaDgtOIcOmSWqMETCb5kDQwKugNhxLSrR3ZGcHUE5OnllRr0v6-V__j_7YvYa87ExmkVimu-IHTeecwdlk2mM2en9YuXXynSIGc6Z5R3wkR8Q5H8ZVYJwAhn/s1600/IMG_3407.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Survivor</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I've had very few cancer "scares" since I've finished treatment and for that I feel really blessed. I feel good overall. I did have a small rubbery lump above my right foob (non-cancer side) ultrasounded a couple weeks ago that was declared to be "fatty tissue" and nothing at all suspicious for malignancy. It was pretty nerve-wracking though because the last time I had a breast ultrasound they told me there was a 95% chance I had breast cancer. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In the past couple of months I've finally started to really like my hair. I've been wearing it wavy which is easy and people say it looks cute. Here's a recent pic of Elise and I that I love. She's so stinkin' cute and I like my hair in it.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6n0Gph5XhPETYSxS_850-RPcSU8F9TE6bDFebkOqjrhKeIYPZG8t-VIbSbRkhWd8W_eXQ3j-sMGlE_drfnPLWWUgs-TEK-1KD6ueXzQKIbvQg5GzPWInulDWc5jrbVYtfD4xatUFGpFvU/s1600/IMG_3493.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6n0Gph5XhPETYSxS_850-RPcSU8F9TE6bDFebkOqjrhKeIYPZG8t-VIbSbRkhWd8W_eXQ3j-sMGlE_drfnPLWWUgs-TEK-1KD6ueXzQKIbvQg5GzPWInulDWc5jrbVYtfD4xatUFGpFvU/s1600/IMG_3493.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 2014</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
I feel so blessed to here today -- going to work, chasing around my rowdy toddler, and living life. I couldn't really imagine that I could be here 17 months ago. God is so good. He really is able to do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
</div>
</div>
KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-82354296762194370902014-05-19T20:12:00.000-07:002014-05-19T20:12:17.094-07:00Yes, They're Fake, The Real Ones Tried to Kill MeLast week on Thursday I had my breast reconstruction surgery!<br />
<br />
It was a three hour surgery that consisted of removing my temporary expander implants and replacing them with permanent silicone implants. Then my plastic surgeon harvested some fat from my thighs to put around the implants to fill in gaps and make my breasts look my natural since I have zero breast tissue after the double mastectomy.<br />
<br />
The surgery went really well and my recovery is coming slowly but surely. My chest is super sore and tight but already looks a lot better than before the reconstruction. My thighs where they harvested the fat are so bruised and sore but already feeling less sore. My plastic surgeon and his team are the best, and our family friend who's was my anesthesiologist again did a great job.<br />
<br />
I've had the last few days off work and hope to return to work in a couple of days. I'm not allowed to lift anything over 10 lbs for four weeks, which means no picking up Elise, which has been emotionally tough already. Luckily I have great help lined up for Elise. I am so thankful for my family and friends.<br />
<br />
I hate feeling pained and helpless again but hopefully this is my last surgery and the pain is not near as bad as the mastectomy and I survived that.<br />
<br />
I think when all is said and done I need to get this shirt...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTpxNYRT-JwVhR5He3HCYaiByT89f4EZ_n5kicBCIiWYpDXs1X0Jq9WC2z23Q9LPspQ4hmumYIz9dTqWHpaQ_hMR8x-V53aWCLuaT_85W9nloG-fi3xrIbBS6oWNKvGeTfYOGUqFK7zEjx/s1600/fake_1_breast_cancer_t-shirt_black_gildan2400l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTpxNYRT-JwVhR5He3HCYaiByT89f4EZ_n5kicBCIiWYpDXs1X0Jq9WC2z23Q9LPspQ4hmumYIz9dTqWHpaQ_hMR8x-V53aWCLuaT_85W9nloG-fi3xrIbBS6oWNKvGeTfYOGUqFK7zEjx/s1600/fake_1_breast_cancer_t-shirt_black_gildan2400l.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Love.<br />
KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-24571243536683233472014-04-25T09:41:00.000-07:002015-12-21T13:41:55.233-08:00Pregnant with Cancer?Recently I've had a couple of comments from people who have found my blog and are pregnant with breast cancer. But I've not been able to respond to them because I don't have emails or any way of contacting them. <br />
<br />
So if you're pregnant with breast cancer and ever want to chat with me via email, phone, etc. please email me at abumpandalump {at} gmail.com . I've done a ton of research about pregnancy and breast cancer and even have some private groups online that I can add you to connect with women in the same situation. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtrw3eApbt4dGKff2qcGEOkzpY_uMEURq1LZANkwg_jJCao6kmF-2NiUIGfDP0FI_ApqDD_p6E0qWitwVAAwMAEShkQidn0tmmHcqt8ERLGbXHvWV00SH4qFRdf2vj1W12Th5ywAv6Gc-A/s1600/breast-cancer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtrw3eApbt4dGKff2qcGEOkzpY_uMEURq1LZANkwg_jJCao6kmF-2NiUIGfDP0FI_ApqDD_p6E0qWitwVAAwMAEShkQidn0tmmHcqt8ERLGbXHvWV00SH4qFRdf2vj1W12Th5ywAv6Gc-A/s1600/breast-cancer.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-51522460214742121482014-03-23T21:34:00.000-07:002014-03-23T21:48:53.050-07:00One year and making each day countThe one year anniversary of my diagnosis was on March 1.<br />
<br />
On my "cancer-versy" I met up with a young, local mom who is also TNBC survivor to spend the day at the zoo with our little girls. She was diagnosed when her daughter was six weeks old. <i>(Note: WHY is this terrible disease happening to many beautiful, young women? I wish I had millions of dollars to pour into research to understand what's causing this? I hate cancer so much).</i> Then that evening Jonathan I ordered Thai food, drank wine, and hung out with Elise -- thanking God that we'd survived this year. <br />
<br />
I've spent a lot of the day thinking about the prayers God answered this year, how much I've been through,
and how much I've changed. My faith in God is so much stronger, I think
much less about the distant future, and I focus on appreciating the things in life
that really matter. March 1, 2013 was such a horrible day that I honestly feel blessed just to have made it through that day and the 364 that followed. <br />
<br />
Here is Elise on March 1, 2014. What a difference a year makes. <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlZGpTii5pGTE4Yono9nivaabLHSuHWzayDWGtPsm_qDploOq-hqFgGETTCWF7EvqL0qDJ7AwA-RKxBIdloVagoL5PPt85h_B2N-LTq4yLAFT0np5p4aWGBasTRVfsrnB5VtUL-qWk0gCw/s1600/IMG_2919.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlZGpTii5pGTE4Yono9nivaabLHSuHWzayDWGtPsm_qDploOq-hqFgGETTCWF7EvqL0qDJ7AwA-RKxBIdloVagoL5PPt85h_B2N-LTq4yLAFT0np5p4aWGBasTRVfsrnB5VtUL-qWk0gCw/s1600/IMG_2919.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">God, I love this girl.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Shortly after I was diagnosed I found a private, online group that is called the "Kick Ass Cancer Mamas." All of us were diagnosed with cancer while pregnant or with young children (the majority of us with breast cancer). Several women in this group have been and are an amazing resource for me. They've given me encouragement, medical advice, prayers, group therapy, and so much more.<br />
<br />
This week I learned that one of my TNBC sisters from the group now has metastasis to the liver. Also known as Stage IV breast cancer. She was declared cancer free a year ago but the f*ing cancer is back. I'm just so mad and sad that this happened to her. Did I mention that I hate cancer?! <i>(Note: If you want to read more and contribute to her fund, go <a href="http://www.gofundme.com/7pa2vs">here</a>.)</i><br />
<br />
Hearing that her cancer is back has made me examine my life yet again. So often I feel like I've beat this beast and can move on, but then there are times like this when I wonder if I'm just living on borrowed time and the cancer will return to get me any day. But then I remember that the reality is, all of us are living on borrowed time. I'm just more keenly aware of it at the young age of 30. All us will die someday and give an account of our lives to God. There is no way around that, so you gotta make each day count. <br />
<br />
I actually feel pretty darn good these days, so every morning I tell myself <i>"today, I am healthy"</i> and aim to make each day count. I do this by...<br />
<ul>
<li>Cherishing every moment with Elise, even when she is up in middle of the night.</li>
<li>Working hard at my job to make good money so that we can pay for Jonathan's master's degree and he can have a great career like I do.</li>
<li>Seeing my family and extended family as much as I can.</li>
<li>Looking for opportunities to serve and help people with my time, prayers, or resources. </li>
<li>Keeping in contact with friends, both new and old, and finding quality time to spend together. Every weekend I try to see someone (or multiple someones) that I care about.</li>
<li>Telling my story as much as I can so that people will see the power of God and His ability to answer prayers. If you read my <a href="http://abumpandalump.blogspot.com/p/faith.html">prayer request page</a>, you'll be amazed at just how many specific prayers God has answered over the course of this year. I want people to see that when times get tough God will provide emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Jesus said in John 16<i>, </i><span class="red"><i>"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." </i>After this year I know that this statement is true, and my prayers is that others do too. </span></li>
</ul>
KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-87608190943006322532014-02-24T11:01:00.001-08:002014-02-24T11:01:07.242-08:0039 weeks in, 39 weeks outElise has now been here as long as she was inside of me! <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOSbItibIEAfiPADWfd6AbEEmYMLERV2tugmA0s0LbFoH9LzKpQkLtMSAKd0O3rUSOSJiU9eioPU4mc6nNCE_zNnUybbk5NstiAigZZi6HV-AfbuarKgPcVCg9hsaXnhgUM6isjWh8xbYZ/s1600/39+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOSbItibIEAfiPADWfd6AbEEmYMLERV2tugmA0s0LbFoH9LzKpQkLtMSAKd0O3rUSOSJiU9eioPU4mc6nNCE_zNnUybbk5NstiAigZZi6HV-AfbuarKgPcVCg9hsaXnhgUM6isjWh8xbYZ/s1600/39+copy.jpg" height="387" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Then: Just shy of 39 weeks pregnant. Now: Just shy of 39 weeks old</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
She's gained 14 lbs since her birth day and I've lost 26 lbs.<br />
<br />
I've gotten say, these last 9 months have been way, way better than the 9 before it. I love seeing my little girl grow up. Every single day with her a gift from God. KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-91152512500739683762014-02-18T13:59:00.001-08:002014-02-18T14:07:42.043-08:00Will you have more kids?This is a question that a lot of people ask me, so I thought I'd address it on the ole blog...<br />
<br />
The answer is complex.<br />
<br />
<b>First</b>, I need to wait until I'm NED (no evidence of disease) for three years before I can consider another pregnancy. That will make me 33 (and Elise 3). I simply cannot risk the cancer returning while I'm pregnant again because I'd basically have to choose between my life and the fetus' life if it came back. In December I got an IUD to make sure I don't get pregnant accidentally (btw I love it). <br />
<br />
<b>Secondly</b>, chemo can cause infertility for a woman of my age about 25% of the time. There are tons of stories of young breast cancer survivors going on to have multiple kids after chemo but it's not a sure thing. I did get my periods back just a few weeks after finishing treatment which is a good sign!<br />
<br />
<b>Thirdly</b>, I have a pretty rough time getting pregnant with Elise. It took one pregnancy loss and 1.5 years to get pregnant with her. I actually was doing acupuncture and herbs for two months to boost my chances of getting pregnant when I got the positive pregnancy test (so it worked!). But I'm clearly not the most fertile person in the world. <br />
<br />
<b>Fourth</b>, emotionally I think another pregnancy would be really tough. I've never had an easy, normal pregnancy. For the first 14 weeks of my pregnancy with Elise I was worried I'd lose her (because I'd lost a baby before) and then for the last 12 weeks of my pregnancy I was battling cancer. Just the thought of all the uncertainty and anxiety that comes with being pregnant makes my heart race.<br />
<br />
So sounds like my answer is "<b>no</b>", right? <b>Not exactly...</b><br />
<br />
<b>If </b>in three years I'm feeling healthy and if somehow we manage to get pregnant with me being sub-fertile and potentially chemo-damaged, then we'd be overjoyed to welcome another baby. But I'm not banking on all that happening because, as you can see, there are a lot of ifs in that sentence. <br />
<br />
I thank God multiple times a day that we have healthy, happy, sweet Elise. She is a true miracle. I know people throw that term around for babies, but she really is a miracle straight from God. And if she's our only child I am more than OK with that. I am an only child and actually really enjoyed/enjoy being an only child.<br />
<br />
So I guess what I'm saying is that in 2.5 years, we'll likely be open to having one more child and at that point we'd just trust God to decide if family grows. KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-26150603698336818512014-02-15T10:56:00.000-08:002014-02-15T11:00:27.271-08:00New Hair & Other UpdatesThanks everyone for the love on my hair post. I did end up getting it cut and dyed and I like it a A LOT better.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXGphiczydzu0Ps6mYvWpJJmZRGdh96xMeO-MkRqUax76iPUjtBgN4ICtWHfOLowKm-xf6hOM_HlbqLKGNQ8LthOpUcYRnwaiR4nc7EmTfrxSPjvwqy8bjPvgMcFNBCkIBJx-JESOdJ3R/s1600/IMG_2822.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXGphiczydzu0Ps6mYvWpJJmZRGdh96xMeO-MkRqUax76iPUjtBgN4ICtWHfOLowKm-xf6hOM_HlbqLKGNQ8LthOpUcYRnwaiR4nc7EmTfrxSPjvwqy8bjPvgMcFNBCkIBJx-JESOdJ3R/s1600/IMG_2822.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Straight from the salon, loving it!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I went with a warm brown and I'm loving the color. Now i just need it to grow a little bit and my pixie will look pretty good.<br />
<br />
My sweet baby girl is now 8.5 months. How did this happen?! I'm loving this age so much, I wish I could just bottle her up! She's wearing 12 month clothes now and weighs around 21 lbs and she's tall (I'll find out the exact inches in a few weeks). Chemo didn't growth restrict her one bit! She's going to be tall like her mom and dad. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4DsVRrad0zZF5L398akYwkPHujsnd2UF_gxxrTXUTJZaw8exkotwqIZ7Bp04Dfxm-OdwcmLFXtwPhODuU5u9Uz4h67S3THKMYHi7JXZXwrfEwwKkcnpSSblf3h09QmVrn5vYJUrZpifrU/s1600/photo+12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4DsVRrad0zZF5L398akYwkPHujsnd2UF_gxxrTXUTJZaw8exkotwqIZ7Bp04Dfxm-OdwcmLFXtwPhODuU5u9Uz4h67S3THKMYHi7JXZXwrfEwwKkcnpSSblf3h09QmVrn5vYJUrZpifrU/s1600/photo+12.jpg" height="400" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My little love</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
When I was pregnant with Elise I set out to complete all the photo album/digital scrapbooks I was behind on. I did 2010-2011 when I was pregnant with her and have now finished 2012-2013! I'm all caught up. Wahoo! In a strange way it gives me a little comfort that if for some reason I'm not around when Elise is older, she'll have these memories of her family from before she was born and when she was a baby.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRwzTH3QlnrZnfXmuMUuxZO7nbipT52wRuoBqgEOo0s1d0giv65o2b8quOcDXXQuBFgYQ3Gqwa1whfmuECupjJmPfLhzC6hXLKRgrZHmUEeI3K7k4QShLmTlSmgwWMfG41YrbV9glsKtwb/s1600/IMG_2829.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRwzTH3QlnrZnfXmuMUuxZO7nbipT52wRuoBqgEOo0s1d0giv65o2b8quOcDXXQuBFgYQ3Gqwa1whfmuECupjJmPfLhzC6hXLKRgrZHmUEeI3K7k4QShLmTlSmgwWMfG41YrbV9glsKtwb/s1600/IMG_2829.JPG" height="400" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Collage of some of the 2012 album</td></tr>
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<br />
I'm feeling pretty good overall. My chest and upper back and left armpit still hurt. Not bad pain, just consistent nagging pain. I know this from the mastectomy, lymph node removal, and implants. It's just annoying. I'll be having my next reconstruction surgery in May (more on that later) so I'm hoping that helps reduce some of the chest pain.<br />
<br />
If you have a moment please say a prayer for my continued health. I'm now 6 months cancer-free. I need to make it 2.5 more years before I'm really "out of the woods." I feel really optimistic about my prognosis and life, but I'd appreciate the prayers nevertheless. <br />
<br />KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-41702615874122496752014-01-30T16:50:00.000-08:002014-02-15T11:05:04.121-08:00A Hairy SituationIt's a rite of passage every cancer/chemo survivor must go though -- the regrowing of the hair. And I think about 95% of us absolutely hate the process.<br />
<br />
Basically, I like my hair blond, long, and straight.<br />
<br />
Like this:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisFcqiP7LuO1FVPelgN0m8RXuAk3_k5VTIBsrW1sHRsrqrVWLIEU3f3uQ7hB_QYkhNEffHGdp3s5mqq0MUoDI3vij1I-zD2JWFYSvX-G5MxW2DG08TnPuTPXzrY0FVDvOLeAFai8IXfHmC/s1600/Copy+of+IMG_3873.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisFcqiP7LuO1FVPelgN0m8RXuAk3_k5VTIBsrW1sHRsrqrVWLIEU3f3uQ7hB_QYkhNEffHGdp3s5mqq0MUoDI3vij1I-zD2JWFYSvX-G5MxW2DG08TnPuTPXzrY0FVDvOLeAFai8IXfHmC/s1600/Copy+of+IMG_3873.JPG" height="400" width="285" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 2009. For the record, I did dye my hair frequently and straighten my hair daily to achieve this look. </td></tr>
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<br />
I don't care what you tell me about liking my my current length, texture, color -- I do not currently like my hair. One bit. No matter what I do to it.<br />
<br />
I've tried just embracing the wild natural curls. Like this... <br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpIhqXHneftLtykVfNa0ZZSoGuhzrpntpazbWgy0Hmi6_QjaAJtmHWzahFBurn88Gi9i9Ou4Z2qSrrmeBVhr1qEM84UQhV39_04VuX-7_obQ4owzSlj52t0usLboSkCeHO8fjeWjhtVN38/s1600/IMG_4214.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpIhqXHneftLtykVfNa0ZZSoGuhzrpntpazbWgy0Hmi6_QjaAJtmHWzahFBurn88Gi9i9Ou4Z2qSrrmeBVhr1qEM84UQhV39_04VuX-7_obQ4owzSlj52t0usLboSkCeHO8fjeWjhtVN38/s1600/IMG_4214.JPG" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This look kind of works in Hawaii. Kind of. 5.5 months post-chemo.</td></tr>
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<br />
I've tried blow drying and flat-ironing the curl out of it and turns out it's just not the curl I hate...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg24Eb3XjsNYJ1SykiARTAeBmxUMVwuKWFf9S4OIV7I2EIblq9peomn-tx-Q72MqLS5nf4fe6fb8U3dfnjSjGub89_x_01Cjl8d1Jwhdou7Gjj4remT3pkvnMpc2ML8PZNuJf1M2H-cQSgD/s1600/IMG_2787v2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg24Eb3XjsNYJ1SykiARTAeBmxUMVwuKWFf9S4OIV7I2EIblq9peomn-tx-Q72MqLS5nf4fe6fb8U3dfnjSjGub89_x_01Cjl8d1Jwhdou7Gjj4remT3pkvnMpc2ML8PZNuJf1M2H-cQSgD/s1600/IMG_2787v2.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A whole heck of a lot of straightening went into this mess. #notworthit. 6 months post-chemo.</td></tr>
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<br />
What I do on most days is try to use a crap-load of product (gel, hairspray, fixation goo, etc.) to get my hair to stay down but it still has some waves/texture and isn't an unruly mess. And this is what I end up with...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyvgXQJuSk2O5asucH23udcbpi2CqIrSXeK1NpMRv5jkCrv8U17L2pAInfdcqMAuMzgPmWD1PcPj98X4G62kkf3dLWgZY7DQCAvAGmjUBqxifFXdQFZdx0ZKIcp9PX6cap0AdcwcoXxWX6/s1600/IMG_2804v2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyvgXQJuSk2O5asucH23udcbpi2CqIrSXeK1NpMRv5jkCrv8U17L2pAInfdcqMAuMzgPmWD1PcPj98X4G62kkf3dLWgZY7DQCAvAGmjUBqxifFXdQFZdx0ZKIcp9PX6cap0AdcwcoXxWX6/s1600/IMG_2804v2.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Try not to be envious of how awesome my hair is mmmk? 6 months post-chemo.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Note: If you tell me about some hair product that's awesome that I
should use and blah blah blah. Stop. I'm not buying it. I have no money
and I'm sick of buying hair products that don't do much to change what I dislike. </i></span><br />
<br />
The one thing I <i>can </i>do something about is the color. So I'm getting it dyed to tomorrow. Just to warm up the mouse-brown and cover my few greys. Maybe that will put me in a better mood about it. <br />
<br />
The rest only time can fix. A lot of time. <i>*Sigh* </i>KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-26935924547517228922014-01-16T17:07:00.002-08:002014-01-16T17:08:37.791-08:00Living LifeI can't believe my last update was about two months ago! Since then we celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. We also went on a big family trip to Hawaii to celebrate being cancer-free!<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqbisuDqA3iibmAQheebxQ8t5EanMFF6blmfg92gJBPPN2aeRi8uGOs9quKB0hxp1YTMTo1qotytjrvjakLY7oJFfrWhqELB6s4_2vR15z5CUrKkwx9gGJvGqxdeCHyEJbjsRWw8YAjppt/s1600/IMG_3898.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqbisuDqA3iibmAQheebxQ8t5EanMFF6blmfg92gJBPPN2aeRi8uGOs9quKB0hxp1YTMTo1qotytjrvjakLY7oJFfrWhqELB6s4_2vR15z5CUrKkwx9gGJvGqxdeCHyEJbjsRWw8YAjppt/s1600/IMG_3898.JPG" height="266" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aloha! </td></tr>
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I've fully entered the "survivorship" phase of cancer recovery. Where I'm trying to live life as "normal" but everything has changed...<br />
<br />
Every ache, pain, or lump still scares the heck out of me. Recently I was worried I had a lymph node recurrence but both my surgeon and oncologist assured me that the lumpiness in my armpit is just scar tissue from the four lymph nodes they removed. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I just have to trust God with my life and trust that right now, the cancer is gone, and with His grace it will stay gone forever.<br />
<br />
I'm less focused on the <i>"am I going to live another year"</i> thoughts I had in the beginning and find myself more focused on the superficial ways that cancer messed up my life. I fret about how I don't like my short, curly, brown hair. I hate the way my foobs (fake boobs) look in most swimsuits and some tops. I think about how I can't wait until I get my final implants and my hair grows out to a length where I can straighten it again.<br />
<br />
This week I've started back to work. Already I'm trying to navigate how I balance work and the life I want to have. A life where I still work hard, but find enough time to focus on exercise and diet, and even more importantly, on faith and family.<br />
<br />
<br />
I guess there's no playbook for how to live life after you've played ding-dong-ditch with death. I'm just trying to appreciate every day and live a life of joy, not fear. <br />
<br />KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-66578207144020874592013-11-19T16:40:00.001-08:002013-11-19T16:40:19.128-08:00ThankfulnessSince November is the month of "thanks", I've been thinking a lot about how much I have to be thankful for. Sometimes don't feel very thankful that I got friggin' breast cancer in the first place, but then I focus on all the blessings that God's given me over the last ninemonths...<br />
<br />
The biggest two being that I have a healthy daughter and I BEAT cancer. <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTRHkBqfBdfjxg_z1WjyTpOF1sy35f4VGksvh4td2JtmnxEvCXYkEGou_1eAzd_2uUjjT6PZQJohoqpSuhXoGiWlFvhe8SDtde316HtSSxVPJw1UkakZ6UUftNTjhPZK6uoLMOd4q6MzaQ/s1600/IMG_3261+-+Copy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTRHkBqfBdfjxg_z1WjyTpOF1sy35f4VGksvh4td2JtmnxEvCXYkEGou_1eAzd_2uUjjT6PZQJohoqpSuhXoGiWlFvhe8SDtde316HtSSxVPJw1UkakZ6UUftNTjhPZK6uoLMOd4q6MzaQ/s320/IMG_3261+-+Copy.JPG" width="234" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Survivors!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
So so so many of my <a href="http://abumpandalump.blogspot.com/p/faith.html">prayer requests</a> have been answered. My faith has been so strengthened during this time both in seeing my prayers answered and knowing that God takes care of us no matter what happens.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWIVCmJNTIGiqrWCeFzNsHH6YrCR1T3xcZ9UPbKBgemu0tiS1AJGh-hnSUME5xq4dHHHsYfydTqIXEIw3gIsbGgP_gUKiNNF4mgEGVBtaVoxxkUnGcrbHTNujLFhW6cYov-4NUcvaS0WvQ/s1600/IMG_3092.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWIVCmJNTIGiqrWCeFzNsHH6YrCR1T3xcZ9UPbKBgemu0tiS1AJGh-hnSUME5xq4dHHHsYfydTqIXEIw3gIsbGgP_gUKiNNF4mgEGVBtaVoxxkUnGcrbHTNujLFhW6cYov-4NUcvaS0WvQ/s320/IMG_3092.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before church one Sunday</td></tr>
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My friends and family have been there for me every step of the way. And my parents have been so incredibly helpful with taking care of Elise and me whenever we needed it.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil8FbmEO9TlQ-Yw9tb0pCTaDhRpVfnZMXVK4ax6M9GlgWt1s4CN2N4s5ho4CKtT_jpuaFkULs2AJ9nmmEg-9m7lJkg8quFURrb0yEywOIdNDvWva8rFnIKVvE0jiIWrDLndYWziy1lIDkt/s1600/IMG_3272.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil8FbmEO9TlQ-Yw9tb0pCTaDhRpVfnZMXVK4ax6M9GlgWt1s4CN2N4s5ho4CKtT_jpuaFkULs2AJ9nmmEg-9m7lJkg8quFURrb0yEywOIdNDvWva8rFnIKVvE0jiIWrDLndYWziy1lIDkt/s400/IMG_3272.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These are just a few of the awesome people who've supported me. Pic taken before the Race for the Cure.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I had 18 amazing milk donors give milk to Elise so that I could have her on 100% donor breast milk for the first 5 months of her life. And some are still donating!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTLCtGbZmglcRfxwqRiB91eRndGgy1nuvAjSqNYBTcTXMAXZRJPQ4DnvA6l8VGRl8JQNVfaN_W1J8SIydLH85mX9YiKmOj-V_dmc6U8Xv2NQGnPaRNQ2R7-2GB455opBeKtxIsUoWqI_yp/s1600/IMG_1876.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTLCtGbZmglcRfxwqRiB91eRndGgy1nuvAjSqNYBTcTXMAXZRJPQ4DnvA6l8VGRl8JQNVfaN_W1J8SIydLH85mX9YiKmOj-V_dmc6U8Xv2NQGnPaRNQ2R7-2GB455opBeKtxIsUoWqI_yp/s320/IMG_1876.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elise loves donor milk!</td></tr>
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So many wonderful people have unexpectedly stepped up to help us. They've <a href="http://abumpandalump.blogspot.com/p/how-to-help.html">donated money to </a>our paypal account for medical bills, helped babysit Elise, sent grocery gift cards for meals, and gave us tons of useful gifts for Elise. My amazing neighbors even donated the proceeds from the annual pub crawl they do to help pay for some of crazy expenses we've incurred this year. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoSeyjw_HiaEAmAKxddyCxQ9B1WAFHrPulU98bKBHHovaAfkMSESBnEQ_zFdxhx4wxSUjx1vT0UsnG6gxldRoZN3_hfN21NYMFlVa8ns5xmU5VWxdIyFTLnEOdkbf3iDhkLWtDccCbwic-/s1600/IMG_0084.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoSeyjw_HiaEAmAKxddyCxQ9B1WAFHrPulU98bKBHHovaAfkMSESBnEQ_zFdxhx4wxSUjx1vT0UsnG6gxldRoZN3_hfN21NYMFlVa8ns5xmU5VWxdIyFTLnEOdkbf3iDhkLWtDccCbwic-/s320/IMG_0084.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Right after they gave us the check. We were so touched! </td></tr>
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<br />
The Bible says <i>"give thanks in all circumstances"</i> (1 Thessalonians 5:18). The last nine months have truly taught me to do this.KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281162615533345144.post-71372426362723488242013-11-12T09:11:00.003-08:002013-11-12T09:16:20.385-08:00Done with Radiation!Yesterday was my final day of radiation! Not only was it my last day of radiation, it was my last day of all cancer <i>treatment</i>. Forever.<br />
<br />
It's hard to believe I've been in treatment for 8 months. It seems both shorter and longer. It's still kind of surreal. <br />
<br />
I had 33 rounds of radiation. 27 to my whole breast, chest, and armpit. And the final 6 were to my mastectomy scar line. I'm happy to report that burns in my armpit are already getting better thanks to Aquaphor, Miaderm, and Silver Sulfadiazine cream. I'm starting to feel major fatigue and probably will for the next several weeks. But it's nothing I can't manage. <br />
<br />
Elise came with me to my last day of radiation (she stayed in the waiting room with my Mom). We wore pink to celebrate!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4bnvAmTAwHFEaavAaDq7JKIHf1HJy7t9NaXGfQUSYYw-4msotqQlfOrgOqYi0hQLPH0rFfuzr89LGDmSceiTnYAJjYNK3bR62Tz3WDGqcgsHKLH51nwVST1yAEAYneW68zHdOcqrjSyo/s1600/IMG_3333v2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4bnvAmTAwHFEaavAaDq7JKIHf1HJy7t9NaXGfQUSYYw-4msotqQlfOrgOqYi0hQLPH0rFfuzr89LGDmSceiTnYAJjYNK3bR62Tz3WDGqcgsHKLH51nwVST1yAEAYneW68zHdOcqrjSyo/s400/IMG_3333v2.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">DONE!</td></tr>
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<br />
Now I will have follow up appointments with all three of my oncologists
(radiation, medical, and surgical) every 3-4 months. And in 6 months I
can have my permanent reconstruction surgery (the implants I have now
are temporary). TNBC is most likely to reoccur/metastasize within three
years, so there will be lots of vigilance in watching me for a while. KGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16519381348948355823noreply@blogger.com7