Friday, April 19, 2013

A "Normal" Week

Since it's been over a week since I posted I thought I'd do a quick update to let you know we are doing well. All-and-all it's been a pretty "normal" week in my crazy "new normal" world.

Headed to a friend's baby "sprinkle" on Sunday
 I spent most of the week working from home, which is actually a wonderful and welcome distraction. Unfortunately my upper back is in a lot of pain (is it from pregnancy? Chemo? Neulasta? Cancer? All of the above? I'll never know.), so I spend most of my work day reclining on the couch with my laptop on my lap. But other than that it's been easy to get some work done.

I also squeezed in a couple of Dr. appts...

I met with a perinatologist (read: a high-risk OBGYN) this week for a consultation and he did a quick "bonus" ultrasound of the baby. She still looks good in there! I'll have another growth ultrasound next Friday (4/26), so pray that she's not growth-restricted and they don't find any other issues there. Basically the perinatologist was very upbeat about the baby (really all the doctors have been) and thinks she'll be just fine.

I also met with an oncology psychologist (read: a therapist who specializes in cancer patients) and spent the hour telling my story and crying my eyes out. I think I'll meet with her on a semi-regular basis to help me deal with my fear of metastasis and get strategies for living beyond cancer.

This weekend we got our deep freezer! Since I'm collecting donor milk for our little girl, we needed a big space to store it. I think this will do...
Will also come in handy if we ever need to hide a dead body. KIDDING!

I actually recently got in my first batch of donor milk from a seriously amazing woman. I won't share her story publicly here (you can ask me about it if we talk), but I'll just say she is living proof that God is good and He works to make the best out of even the worst situations.

Liquid gold, my friends
This week I've also had a few fun visits with friends that have helped me deal with the loneliness of being home all the time. Michelle brought me lunch from Tender Greens. Kay came over to continue to teach me to crochet (I am making progress!). And I went over to my sweet neighbor's house for lunch and tea. Of course I always have this sweet beast to hang out with...
He really looks thrilled to be hanging out with me, doesn't he?

Obviously the bombings in Boston have been close to my heart and mind this week as well -- for so many reasons. Because my parents lived in Boston so close to blast sites for the last six years, because my Dad is a marathoner and I've watched him run and finish many marathons over the years, and because it's just another reminder of fragility of life. One minute you're watching a marathon, the next minute you're fighting to survive. One day you're happily healthy and pregnant, the next you're told you have a deadly cancer. Sadly, the only assurance we have in this life is that it will end in death. I have to remind myself in times of despair that there is hope, hope that "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Finally, some blog updates...
I've added a link to my treatment plan on the blog header (whoa daunting). And I've updated the prayer requests page.


  1. Things in Boston are so scary right now. I'm on lock down and live a mile from the command central in Watertown. I just want him caught.

    I'm so glad you can get donor milk. I've always wondered how that all works in terms of knowing the milk is "safe?" like that the donor didn't drink or do drugs, etc.

    I hope you and baby continue to feel good. Praying for you.

  2. So many things to comment on! I'm going to do this number style...

    1.) My upper back hurt SO badly from 25 weeks on. I totally know how you feel, and it is the worst. Standing, sitting straight up....both were awful. So nice that you're able to work from your recliner :)

    2.) I wish Maggie and I could come keep you company at home. We'd love to bring you lunch one day!

    3.) Praying for your therapy sessions. I hope they are a blessing to you and help bring you peace.

    4.) Yay breastmilk! That is wonderful that you've already found some donor milk. Once again, if we were closer, I'd help you fill up that freezer. I have a stash in my freezer that I don't know how we're ever going to be able to use before it goes bad. But I think it's wonderful you've been able to find some for baby G :)

    5.) As always, you look wonderful. I know the end is physically tough PLUS the chemo, but you are really lookng great!!

  3. You are so wise to see an oncology psychologist! I didn't even know such a thing existed! Once I finished treatment I struggled big time with anxiety & depression. I then became angry that my oncologist never asked me how I was doing mentally. It's like because I was 28 and healthy expected me to just be fine! I ended up seeking out a counselor on my own and I'm so glad I did; wish I would've done it sooner. I know it will be a huge help for you. Stay strong momma! xoxo

  4. so sorry about the back pain! Maybe you can get a pregnancy massage? Thank you for your kind comment on my blog. I have no doubt you will fully recover and beat this and come out stronger in the end! I must say you are one beautiful lady, hair or no hair!

  5. I LOVE the picture! I have to admit that it has been hard to feel sympathy for "normal" pain. Knowing what you are going through, our neighbors who have the daughter with Spinal Muscular Atrophy who were told to have a 6 month birthday party because she might not make it to 1. When I heard stupid problems and complaining, I just want to say, "shut the F up"! Ok, that's my confession for the day.

  6. You look beautiful and I am so humbled by your positive attitude. I am sure you have tough moments but your ability to rely on God through this is challenging and amazing! Life IS fragile and He IS good...two very big truths! I am sure He is so proud of you!

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